My final blog… My final ask of you
Allyship isn’t a single act — it’s a lifelong practice. My ask is simple: Have the Will!
After 25 years consulting in the diversity, equity and allyship space — and 55 years working full-time — it’s time for me to take a step back. A little break.
In all those years, the most valuable lesson I’ve learned about being an ally and promoting allyship is this: HAVE THE WILL!
Simply stated: Being an ally begins with the will to act.
The truth is, you must chooseto do this work. Why? We choose it for the people in our lives — for our spouses, partners, sisters, aunts, mothers and colleagues. And, in my opinion, every father has a sacred responsibility to be an ally for his daughter and the future she will face in the workplace.
Frankly, if men choose not to do this work, they are betraying some of the most important people in their lives.
In Part One of this series, I discussed listening and developing the empathy to truly understand the daily challenges women (and other underrepresented groups) face at work. In Part Two I reminded women that as individuals, they are far from alone. Research consistently shows that women face micro-aggressions in the workplace that hold them back every single day.
Men, if you have read these articles, then you already know: This is your responsibility.
So, my final ask is that you have the will. Have the will to face adversity and the tough conversations. Have the will to speak up when it would be easier to stay silent. That, more than anything else, encapsulates what I’ve learned over all these years. And now it’s up to each of you to carry the message forward.
As for me, it’s time to move on. I’ll be available for the occasional talk or consultation. I know I’m not finished, but it’s time for me to take a couple years of sabbatical. During this time I’ll figure out my “third act” (the term for what you plan to do between the ages of 70 to 85, for those new to the term). I’ll keep you posted and may reach out to some of you for a bit of coaching as I chart this next chapter.
In the past 25 years, I’ve had the opportunity to work on five continents, travel to more than 40 countries, and I’ve trained and talked to hundreds of thousands of people. I’m so blessed; I’ve lived a life I never could have imagined as a rookie sales guy fresh out of the University of Wisconsin – Kenosha, (not Madison!).
Some of my most cherished memories include conducting the first Diversity training for Coca-Cola in South Africa post-apartheid, giving a TEDx talk (in red high heels), serving on the Board of Miss America, and mentoring and sponsoring so many amazing people who have gone on to do incredible and impactful things. I even wrote two books and well over 100 blogs, (a miracle for a C+ English student!), but I am most proud of having coached more than 10 others to write their own books.
While I’m stepping back, my hope is that the seeds we’ve planted together will keep growing.
I have thousands of people to thank for their support, coaching, mentoring and sponsorship. If I have worked with you or made an impact for you or your organization, I’d love to hear from you.
And while I can’t thank everyone individually, there are some special people I would like to send shout outs to in the comments below.
For now, I’ll leave you with this: Allyship is a choice. Choose it — and keep choosing it.
If you are interested in a hard back copy of my book, WHY WOMEN, The Leadership Imperative to Advancing Women and Engaging Men, I’m offering copies for the cost of shipping — while supplies last — No charge for book – $6.00 covers shipping.